you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Your penis caused this!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
