EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
