Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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