I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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