Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
