Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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