Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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