Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You ruined the universe
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize