She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Help me help you realize you are a moron
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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