Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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