I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work