Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
