i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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