he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
