You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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