was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
