I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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