Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
