the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
