dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
