FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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