it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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