I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Jerry, you need to find god
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize