I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize