Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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