i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
