Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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