I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
