Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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