apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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