Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.