I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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