I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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