We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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