In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
