something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
