This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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