I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Randomize
