He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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