Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
