Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
