im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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