I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
