Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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