Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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