Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize