butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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