He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
