Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
