are you still at the devil's house?
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize