just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
