he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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