So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
