just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
