I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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