talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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