dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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