if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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