those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
