I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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