Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
