dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
