Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
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