are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
