The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
