Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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