that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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