Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize