you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
